Johnny Ulfers – A Memorial Day Tribute

Memorial Day is a day to remember those who gave their lives for our freedom. Some will visit cemeteries to visit loved ones, and some will attend Memorial Day services or ceremonies. Hopefully all will pause to give thanks for those who fought for our freedom but didn’t make it back home.

When I was growing up, my siblings and I would go spend time with our grandpa and step-grandma on their farm. Grandma had the upstairs bedrooms named: Anita’s room, the west room, and Johnny’s room. I remember being afraid to touch any of Johnny’s things, because they were so special to grandma. There was a model car on one dresser that I remember thinking was so cool, which made me think that Johnny himself must have been cool.

On the main level of the house, grandma had a sun room of sorts. It had a seating area, steps that led out to the sidewalk in front of the house, and a built in display area in a corner near the steps. That display area was very special to grandma.

Johnny entered the military in June, 1967, just a few months before I was born. He was killed in action in Vietnam in November, 1968.

In grandma’s display area, she had his purple heart, his medals, a few photos, and the flag that draped his coffin. Every so often, she would talk about Johnny, and show us on the map where he was killed. His death impacted her deeply, but I was too young to realize how deeply until recently.

John Ulfers Memorial Obituary

John was not the first of grandma’s family to be killed in action. Her only brother was killed in WW II in France. The military honors at John’s committal service were performed by the Bertus Jurgens Post Number 283, which was named after John’s uncle, grandma’s brother. Grandma went through the heartache of losing two very special men during war time. She also experienced the loss of her mother, and her first husband. Those losses help to explain why grandma seemed so deeply affected by Johnny’s death. She also understood the need for talking about family members who passed on before us, and the importance of introducing us to the family members we never had the chance to know. I am thankful that she shared her stories, and that we felt like we knew our step-uncle a little.

On this Memorial Day, I hope that you will take the time to share memories of your loved ones, pray for those who have lost family members who were fighting for our freedom, and give thanks that we live in the Land of the Free because of the Brave.

John B Ulfers Vietnam Wall

 

Remembering Kenny

Remembering Kenny
Jonathan and Kenny on the last day of harvest 2015

 

My father-in-law, Kenny Olson, passed away on January 22, 2016. I have been mulling over ways to pay tribute to the man who taught me so much about farming, about living out your wedding vows so faithfully, and handling life’s difficulties with humor and grace. In essence, he showed us all how to live out our faith.

These verses in 1 Corinthians 13 really sum up much about what I know about Kenny.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

When Jonathan and I were dating, we lived 3 hours from each other. This meant visits to the Twin Cities for Jonathan, or trips to the farm for me when we wanted to see each other. I was pretty nervous the first time I came to the farm and met Kenny and Lois. Thankfully, they were both so welcoming that I felt better immediately. I think he was pleased when we were engaged on his birthday in 1988.

Kenny and Jonathan were so patient teaching this city girl how to drive tractors, pick rocks, hoe weeds, and run to town for parts. If he was upset at me about mistakes, he never let it show. There was a time when Kenny and Lois had guests stop by for an evening of visiting while we were still working the ground after harvest. I volunteered to take the evening shift in the tractor to chisel plow so Jonathan and the girls could hang out at the farm and visit with the guests as well. I was on the far end of the field when all of a sudden, the chisel plow fell off the hitch, hydraulic hoses flying. Neither Jonathan nor Kenny had their two-way radios on, so my only choice was to drive back to the yard, leaving the chisel plow where it was. The guys were a little surprised when I drove in to the yard, and were happy I was not hurt, and that the hydraulic hoses had pulled cleanly out of the outlets on the back of the tractor and were in one piece. Neither one of them were upset over that incident. They just made sure the large pin was held in place with wire after that, so it couldn’t get jerked out of the hitch again.

My mother-in-law, Lois, lived with Multiple Sclerosis for 30 years. Kenny lived out the wedding vows, “in sickness and in health” so beautifully. He wasn’t real fond of driving into the Cities to take Lois to medical appointments, but he did it anyway. When Lois needed to use a wheel chair, he had a ramp built to get her in and out of their home, and made other modifications to make her life easier. When it came time for Lois to move to a nursing home in a neighboring town, he drove the 22 miles to pick her up for church every Sunday morning, then brought her to their house in town for the day before returning her to the nursing home in the evening. He spent many days visiting her when he wasn’t helping on the farm. I know it wasn’t all sunshine and roses dealing with Lois’ illness, but he chose to live out his love through patience and devotion to her. That has been a great example to all of us.

Kenny had a wonderful sense of humor. When we were looking for photos for our farm’s 100th anniversary celebration, we found many photos of Kenny and his brother having fun. Apparently, they liked to pull old Model T cars, without engines, behind other cars and run them up and down the road ditches. Kenny also enjoyed telling stories and having fun, even while hoeing out weeds in the soybean fields. He found a way to make the unpleasant tasks more tolerable with humor. The last month of his life, even after the dementia caused him to no longer recognize his family, he would still make people laugh with self-depreciating humor, and joking. He had such a pleasant nature, that everyone who worked at the memory care unit where he lived loved him.

Kenny has been such a great example of living out your faith, even when life gets hard. I feel so blessed to have been able to be a part of his family for the past 27+ years.

A Christmas Eve Story

This Christmas Story is shared by Jonathan Olson.

Christmas Eve in Germany

My Dad Kenneth Olson was stationed in Germany for part of his Army service. From time to time he would share stories from those Army days with his family. Here is one we listened to and enjoyed, and now we want to share it with you.

It was Christmas Eve, 1958. All of their duties were done for the day, and the men in the barracks had the rest of the day off. It was a calm, quiet night. There were a couple of guys complaining about being stuck here on Christmas. It wasn’t quite dark yet, so Dad and his army buddy decided to head into the local small town to eat out. They went into a little restaurant managed by some immigrants. The wife was friendly and serving as the waitress, and the husband was in back cooking. There were very few people eating out that night, so the place was fairly quiet.

There was a little girl playing on the floor with a few small toys. She was the daughter of the couple running the restaurant. It was apparent they didn’t have much extra to live on. Christmas would likely pass with no fanfare for them.

As Dad and his buddy finished eating their meal, they talked over an idea they began to get excited about. They paid for their meal, left a tip, and went for a walk. They found just what they wanted–a store still open. They went in and did not have to look long before they saw what they were looking for. . . a huge teddy bear. They bought it plus some other things for the family. They returned to the restaurant and gave the teddy bear to the little girl playing on the floor. She was so excited. She hugged it right away. The mother, with tears running down her cheeks, thanked Dad and his friend. They then gave the wife and husband a bag with some gifts for them. They were so thankful. They admitted there wasn’t enough money to get their daughter anything special, so the gifts for her were very kind.

The husband insisted that Dad and his friend have some complimentary dessert. They did enjoy a bit of dessert, but the real enjoyment was watching the little girl with her big new teddy bear. She was still beaming with her huge smile. Soon the desserts were finished, and it was time to head back to the barracks. As they walked in the door, they heard one guy say, “this is the worst Christmas ever.” Dad looked at his friend and they both smiled. They were thinking to themselves “it is a pretty good Christmas.”

May the joy of Christmas be with you and your loved ones today and every day!
CarolynCares Kenny and Buddys Christmas
Kenny (far right) and a few of his buddies

Escape to Northern Minnesota

Jonathan and I found time to escape from the farm for 2 1/2 days this summer. This was the first summer vacation without any of our kids along, so it was pretty spontaneous. It had been awhile since we visited the North Shore and Duluth, Minnesota, so we decided that would be our destination.

Since the timing of our trip was totally weather dependent, we didn’t have advanced reservations anywhere, and ended up choosing a hotel in Two Harbors. We had been through this town on another trip up the North Shore, but hadn’t stayed there. We really enjoyed the laid back atmosphere of Two Harbors instead of the frenetic pace of the Duluth Harbor area.

We left home after 6:00 pm on Wednesday evening, and arrived at our hotel right around midnight. This is what happens when you need to complete a few things on the farm before you can head out the door. Thursday we went to my niece’s house in Duluth and took her out for lunch. She recommended the Duluth Grill so we tried it out. We weren’t disappointed…but if you go, go hungry!

After walking around the Leif Erickson rose garden, and wading in Lake Superior, we took Jenni back to her place so she could make it to work in time. Jonathan and I went back up to Two Harbors, and planned our next adventure. We decided on Gooseberry State Park. The parking and falls area was free…bonus! We walked first to the middle and lower falls, then headed up to the upper falls. We went in the evening, so the light was beautiful, and it wasn’t really crowded.

Upper Falls Gooseberry State Park

On our way back to the hotel that night, we decided to go down to the harbor in Two Harbors and see what was there. We noticed people walking down the break wall, so Jonathan encouraged me to do the same. The water was so calm and the temperatures were perfect. There were seagulls swimming near the break wall, even though people were walking close by. After taking this photo, we watched a ship depart Two Harbors, which was pretty cool.

Seagull in Lake Superior, Two Harbors

On Friday, we decided to do our sight-seeing in the morning before heading down to Duluth to see my sister and brother-in-law who had come to help my niece with a house project. We headed up the shore towards Split Rock Lighthouse. It had rained the during the night, and fog was rolling in off Lake Superior in places which made the views really cool. We pulled over to walk up a look-out along a trail, and marveled that this was just as much a part of the Minnesota landscape as the prairies are that we call home.

Looking North along Lake Superior

When we arrived at Split Rock, we paid the admittance fee, and decided to follow the guided tour before heading out on the self guided portion. We learned a lot of the background history, which helped the self guided portion make sense. This is one of the most photographed lighthouses in the United States, but that didn’t stop me from wanting to take a few. Just to warn you…there are 171 steps down to the lake, which means you need to walk 171 steps back up again. It really wasn’t that bad, especially when there were places along the way where you could pause and take more photos.

Split Rock Lighthouse

Even though this was a mini-vacation, and we packed a lot of sight seeing into it, we came home feeling refreshed. It’s worth taking a couple of days to escape the crazy pace of farming to take a breather!

30 Things I Love: My Sisters

Sisters

I love my sisters. We love hanging out with each other whether it is at family gatherings, or on sister weekends. Since we live in different areas of the state, we don’t get to see each other often enough!

We also have two brothers, and we love them as well, but there is nothing like the bond between sisters. Have you ever hung out with someone so much that you start to finish each others sentences, or know what they are thinking before they even say it? That’s how it is with my sisters. We have stuck by each other through thick and thin…literally and figuratively…and have supported each other through medical issues, job transitions, and the typical tough parts of life. Those things draw us closer together, and make the joyful parts of life sweeter.

My sisters and I love good jokes, good food, and good stories. We laugh. A lot. We’ve been know to text each other late into the night when we’re apart, or go looking for the super moon at 2 am when on a sister’s weekend. We always stay up too late talking, and we never seem to run out of things to talk about. We cherish those conversations, and the time spent together.

One of our favorite Christmas movies is White Christmas. We reference it quite often, even in the summer. The best part about it? When Betty and Judy Haynes (Rosemary Clooney and Vera Ellen’s voice double) sing the song, “Sisters”.  Those times when we say the same thing at the same time? We sing the song. Those times when we all do the exact same thing at the exact same time? We sing the song. Those times when our family looks at us as if we’re completely nuts as we’re laughing hysterically at an inside joke? We sing the song.

Ahhh. I love my sisters!

 

Day 1: Pizza

Day 2: Shoes

Day 3: Shout Stain Remover

Day 4: The Ability to Vote

Day 5: My Heritage

Day 6: NASCAR

Day 7: Black Velvet for Photography

Day 8: Strong Coffee and Strong Hairspray

Day 9: Peacefulness

Day 10: Winter’s First Snow

Day 11: Freedom

Day 12: Dairy

Day 13: Jonathan

Day 14: Coffee

Day 15: Seasons

Day 16: Scones

Day 17: #AgNerds

Day 18: Playing in the Dirt

Day 19: Friends

Day 20: My Church Choir Family

Day 21: OxyClean

Day 22: Small Town Celebrations

Day 23: Clouds

Day 24: Thanksgiving

Day 25: Sisters

Click here to go to Holly Spangler’s blog, and see the link for other 30 Day Challenge Bloggers

30 Things I Love: Friends

Domestic Goddess Friends
Lynn, Sandy, Stephanie, and Me

Every girl needs to have some good girlfriends in her life. The types of friends that, even when you don’t see each other as regularly as before, you pick up right where you left off. I love my Domestic Goddess friends!

When I moved to Cottonwood in 1988, Jonathan’s friends became my friends. However, it took a long time to find good female friends. Ones that you could talk to about things that make guys cringe. There were a few newer young couples that moved to Cottonwood, and they were looking for friendships as well. We were all stay at home moms at the time, and we needed some fellowship with other women who were in the same boat.

There were five women and a handful of kids at our first gathering for coffee. We all agreed that we needed to get together regularly, so we tried for an every-other-week coffee and play date. We took turns hosting, with the rule that it didn’t matter how messy your house was, because we weren’t there to see your house. We are all different, yet we all clicked. We were sad when the first one moved away, but we were determined to keep getting together.

As time went on, another moved away, our kids became independent, and coffee at each others houses turned into lunch in town. We don’t get together as often anymore, but when we do, it’s like we just had lunch last week. I always thought that as the kids got older, it would be easier to get  together, but it isn’t! We’re all involved in so many things, and support our kid’s activities as much as before…which means more travel as they move to college. I crave time with these women, and I cherish those moments when we are together.

I am so thankful for Lynn, Sandy, Stephanie, and Diane. I love you girls!

Day 1: Pizza

Day 2: Shoes

Day 3: Shout Stain Remover

Day 4: The Ability to Vote

Day 5: My Heritage

Day 6: NASCAR

Day 7: Black Velvet for Photography

Day 8: Strong Coffee and Strong Hairspray

Day 9: Peacefulness

Day 10: Winter’s First Snow

Day 11: Freedom

Day 12: Dairy

Day 13: Jonathan

Day 14: Coffee

Day 15: Seasons

Day 16: Scones

Day 17: #AgNerds

Day 18: Playing in the Dirt

Day 19: Friends

Click here to go to Holly Spangler’s blog, and see the link for other 30 Day Challenge Bloggers

Fun Fact Friday: Where I Came From…

Class of 1986

I grew up in Champlin, Minnesota, one of the northern suburbs of Minneapolis. I had a great childhood, in part because we lived in a neighborhood where kids would get together and play ditch-em, we’d ride our bikes, or just run around the yard playing whatever sport we felt like at the time. I have many fond memories of our house there.

In 1986, I graduated from Anoka Senior High School with a class of over 675 students. On any given day, there were close to 3000 students cruising through the halls of the high school. I had friends in many groups, but mostly preferred those who were in my youth group from church since they were the ones I saw most often. Our academic classes weren’t necessarily split into grades, so sometimes you weren’t sure if someone was in your graduating class or not. It was interesting sitting through graduation ceremonies and realizing you didn’t know someone in your class. That doesn’t happen where I live now!

Jonathan graduated in a class of 40, including 2 foreign exchange students. I’m sure if I asked some of those classmates where everyone resides today, they would be able to tell me. Most of them started kindergarten together, and a few have known each other pretty much since birth. There are good things, and bad things about being a close class. 🙂

Jonathan and I have been married for 26 years, and I still find it amazing that our town population is less than half of what the student body was at my high school. It was a bit of a culture shock when I first moved to the farm, but now I wouldn’t trade it for anything. Every day I am thankful that I met Jonathan, married him, and am now his right hand (wo)man.

I’m pretty proud of where I came from, but I’m even more proud of where I am today.

 

Throwback Thursday – County Fair Days

This is the second year that we have not had a daughter in 4-H. It still seems weird not being at the county fairgrounds every day, all day, while taking care of their goats and horses. Parts of me is thankful we don’t have the stress of show day, but part of me misses it as well. Showing animals at the county fair teaches kids so many things about life…and about agvocating.

Here is a photo from one of the last years that all three girls showed goats.

Anna, Laura, and Christina following the goat show , 2009
Anna, Laura, and Christina following the goat show , 2009

 

Wordless Wednesday – What a Weekend!

CarolynCares Wedding Ceremony

Pretty proud momma…and yes, I took this with my cell phone during the exchange of vows, and sent it out for our family members overseas. I guess I’m that mom. 🙂  So happy for Anna and Doug! Love them to pieces!

Where Has the Time Gone?

CarolynCares Christina Graduates

This little cutie has grown up into a beautiful woman. Today, she graduates from college! It seems like yesterday when we were looking forward to summer break after her year of kindergarten. We’re proud of you, sweetheart, and wish you many blessings as you pursue your passions.

Congratulations, Christina! We love you very much!