When I first thought about using this song in a blog, I was pretty bummed about the nasties that get thrown around on the internet. It is way too easy to post something negative or mean when you are not saying it to a person’s face. I was dismayed at some of the horrible things being said of my friends in response to agriculture issues, simply because they disagreed with their methods of farming.
Recently, I had an incident happen that was really unfortunate. It really hurt to be treated in a mean girls fashion, like I didn’t have any feelings, or like I didn’t exist in their world. I don’t usually let that kind of crap bother me, but this time, it did. Maybe it was because I thought these people were my friends, and I trusted them too much. Or maybe I just wasn’t in a good place mentally.
I did a lot of thinking after that incident, about why this one bothered me, when others just make me shake my head. One thing I have noted, is the amount of time I spend putting myself down. Yeah, I’ve gained all the weight back that I lost a few years ago, and the reasons are many. But, instead of picking myself up, dusting off, and getting back on the road to a healthier body, I have wallowed. When I wallow, I become unhappy with me, and basically, I don’t respect myself. If I don’t show me respect, than when others hit a nerve, it all seems so much worse. I have troubles answering in a respectful manner, which never helps a situation.
I was explaining my issues to Jonathan, and he very gently reminded me that I need to stop being so hard on myself. He is such a great encourager. Just what I needed. There were a few other friends that I shared with, who also were full of positive words. What a difference it made when words were positive, rather than the negative. I typically try to be careful about my words, especially on social media sites, but because I was having issues with me, I didn’t censor my words. Some of you would think what I said was no big deal…and no, I am not going to go into detail…but to me it was a big deal. I felt horrible for letting my negative attitude get the best of me.
One of the great things about life, is if you don’t like what your attitude is, you can change it. And that is my plan. To start respecting myself…showing me some love…and in turn, respect others that I communicate with, both in real life, and online. Hopefully, we all can make the effort to show a little respect…to others as well as ourselves.
I think every one of us has been sitting where you are at the moment. You did a beautiful job of articulating what I have thought/felt many times. And you are so right, regardless of the situation, timing, people involved, we can always choose our own attitude. That’s both empowering and humbling. The other thing is, each day is a new chance to have the right attitude:). Cut yourself some slack cuz! You deserve it.