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This quote by Carl R Rogers was so fitting today. Sometimes we encounter people who drive us crazy. When we see these people in person, we just want to hurry the conversation along so we can escape and go chat with our friends. Then again, there are those conversation on social media, where you swear someone will argue with you over the color of the sky, simply because they have it in their minds that you’ll never have anything in common.
I love the opening line – “People are just as wonderful as sunsets if you let them be.” If you let them be…wonderful. If you let them be…human. If you let them be…imperfect. They are still just as wonderful as sunsets. Just because I think a woman is going to be crabby and whining after church doesn’t mean I shouldn’t take the time to really listen to what she’s saying, and what she’s not saying. Is she crabby about someone not talking to her ever because her memory is going, and she cannot remember the last conversation? Or, is it her way of saying she’s lonely?
When we’re typing rants, comments, statuses, or sharing other posts online, do we let our biases about certain people or groups of people dictate how we respond to them? For instance, if the conversation is centered around whether PB&J is better with grape jelly or strawberry jam, are the grape jelly fans going to treat the strawberry jam lovers as if they are just as wonderful as sunsets?
People are just as wonderful as sunsets. Just as every sunset is different, people are different. Don’t try so hard to change everyone to fit what you think they should be. Just sit back, and enjoy watching your relationships unfold. After all, social media is about relationships just as life is about relationships.
I’ve always felt a little funny about the phrase, “Thank a Farmer”. I guess I just have a difficult time asking people to thank me for a job that I love doing. I mean, why would I ask people to thank me, when my parts guy isn’t asking me to thank him for keeping the equipment running? Recently, Jenny, from Prairie Californian tweeted about thanking the people that make our lives easier. That conversation got me to thinking about starting a new Thankful Thursday series, where I can highlight some of the people that I come into contact with on a regular basis, and thank them for their work.
I’ve been working on gratitude and thankfulness in my own life lately. I’m a words of affirmation girl, and I understand how a kind word can make your whole day better. I also understand how an unkind word or unsavory expression can ruin what was a good day. I would love to see the world become a more positive place, where people are kind to one another, and where Please and Thank You are not just words to a Barney song.
My hope is that this journey will help us to have more of an attitude of gratitude when we are at the grocery store, the local coffee shop, the gas station, the parts store…wherever there are people helping us out. It is so easy to get crabby with the waitress when she’s a little slow, or get mad at the parts guys for not having the correct hydraulic tips. It would be cool if instead of getting upset, we could be thankful that these people are here to help us, and are willing to work at that establishment.
If you would like to join me in my Thankful Thursday series, put a link to your blog in the comments. I’ll add your link at the end of my posts.
You cannot be grateful and bitter.
You cannot be grateful and unhappy.
You cannot be grateful and without hope.
You cannot be grateful and unloving.
So just be grateful.
Have you noticed a change in people’s attitudes on Social Media this winter? At first, I blamed it on the Polar Vortex. However, it hasn’t improved at all with the snow melt! The negative blog posts, personal attacks, and unnecessary use of inflammatory adjectives have really gotten me down. I’ve had troubles writing lately, because I feel like whatever positive I had to say about my farm, or agriculture in general, would be drowned out by all the negative posts and editorials written about what I do.
While looking at photos and quotes for my Wordless Wednesday posts, I noticed I gravitated towards certain themes. Positive Attitude. Kindness. Respect. The more I focused on the quotes relating to those themes, the better I felt. So, how can we create a positive conversation in agriculture amidst all the negativity?
1. Have a Positive Attitude. Let’s be real. Sometimes you have to fake it ‘til you make it on those days when it seems like everyone is trying to get under your skin. It’s okay to walk away before responding. A positively worded response can preserve most relationships, or help others to understand where you are coming from. The conversations you have today will influence how others see you tomorrow. “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” Proverbs 15:1
2. Show a little Kindness. I think we sometimes get so wrapped up in “me” that we lose sight of what goes on outside of our little world. People love to make fun of labels on packages if they think those labels are unnecessary. Those labels were not meant for you…they were meant for those whose lives may be affected by the ingredients in that product. Gluten Free items are not only for those who suffer from Celiac Disease, but are also important for those with a wheat allergy. There are many people who are diagnosed with an illness, and are told by their doctor they need to avoid certain ingredients. They may not have a computer at home to check lists of approved foods, so the labels become very important to them. Just because it is not your label, does not mean it isn’t someone else’s. “In life you can never be too kind or too fair; everyone you meet is carrying a heavy load. When you go through your day expressing kindness and courtesy to all you meet, you leave behind a feeling of warmth and good cheer, and you help alleviate the burdens everyone is struggling with.” -Brian Tracy
3. Respect is more than the title to an Aretha Franklin song. Agriculture is so individual that there is a lot of room for disagreement. The most difficult thing to remember is that what works for me on my farm, and with my management style is not going to work for you. To respect the differences in styles, methods, crops, livestock raised, we must refrain from using the inflammatory adjectives that are only meant to hurt. Calling someone anti-science, a cult, or a mafia is no better than calling someone a shill, a factory farm, or toxic. Name calling is a sure way to destroy any credibility you may have had with consumers. We want to be the trusted source, yet we are constantly attacking each other because we are different. Instead, I think we need to embrace the diversity, and respect ourselves. “To be one, to be united is a great thing. But to respect the right to be different is maybe even greater.” –Bono
Some may say it is wishful thinking to try and have a positive conversation in agriculture. I am confident it can be done. The change in attitude needs to start now. Are you with me?
“You must be the change you wish to see in the world.” – Mahatma Gandhi
Our scripture texts for this week’s mid-week Lenten service have been on my mind all day. The first reading was from Micah 6, with verse 8 really standing out. “He has told you, O mortal, what is good; and what does the Lord require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God?” That sounds so simple, doesn’t it?
The second reading was from Romans 12:9-13. The photo above contains the portion of the text that has stayed with me today. Again, the words sound so simple. “Don’t just pretend that you love others: really love them.” Another version says, “Let your love be genuine.”
When was the last time you showed real love for others? Too often we say one thing, but are thinking another. We say things to please or appease our audience, thinking they will like us if we say what we think they want to hear. Is popularity the driving force behind posts, or is it an outpouring of what is truly in your heart?
Everyone sees things thorough their own filter. My reality is different than your reality. In my opinion, that is the way it should be. I think where things go wrong, is when we feel our way is the only way. When we insist that we are the only “right” ones, we are not really loving others. We cannot honor each other if we are too busy judging them based on our own set of rules as to what is right.
My mind tends to connect scripture lessons and snippets of Pastor’s sermons to things happening in agriculture. Lately, I haven’t been feeling much love on social media when it comes to agriculture. So many articles, memes, blog posts, tweets, statuses, whatever, have been divisive. If you don’t agree with this person, you are a shill. If you don’t agree with that person, you are anti-science. If you choose to eat this food, you are an elitist. If you choose to eat that food you are poisoning your family. Read my 10 truths about this farming system that I have no experience in, but am writing about anyway. Sometimes I just want to bang my head on the wall! One thought from Pastor’s sermon seemed to fit into these feelings. We want a set of rules to follow, yet we don’t all agree on the rules. The rules were made to make order out of chaos, yet now we have chaos because we don’t like the rules. It helps to explain church denominations…yet the same can be said for agriculture. There is no one hard and fast rule about how to grow things…or even what things to grow. Yet, we want to separate people into categories, and we judge them based on which category we put them into. Doesn’t make a lot of sense, does it?
This is the part where I’m really thankful for grace and forgiveness. As much as I try to live like these scripture passages say, I know that I will fail. That doesn’t mean that it’s okay to give up on trying! Some days, being kind is awfully difficult. That is when I need to hate the wrong…the wrong being my attitude. Some people like to make loving them more of a challenge, but when you are loving the good, you can usually find something to love. 🙂
My challenge to you, is to work on really loving others, and focus on the positives when you write. Think about how your post might be perceived by those who do not live in your box. Was the post written with good intentions, or was it written because others have posted on this topic and received a good response?
The power to change the attitude of the multitude begins with one…you. Love the good!
People are getting testy. Maybe it’s the weather, or maybe I’m just letting it get to me a little more. I’m not sure.
This past week, the new Farm Bill was finally passed by both the House and the Senate, and was signed into law by President Obama. Many in agriculture are breathing a sigh of relief…and many are whining and venting on social media. The Farm Bill is not perfect. There are areas where we still need to work with our elected officials to make changes as stand alone legislation. The key is, we need to WORK WITH our elected officials. Calling them names, shaming them on social media, and calling their offices in moments of anger is NOT working with them.
When kids at school were giving me a bad time, my mom used to tell me to kill them with kindness. There are even references in the Bible that talk about being kind to your enemies. Sweet words soothe crying babies, help comfort broken hearts, and bring calming to those who may be acting out in frustration. I have seen it work many times. I have also seen people shrink away and become defensive when angry words are hurled at them. The power of words is amazing.
I may not agree with, or even really like some of my elected officials, but if I want to have a working relationship with them, I must treat them with kindness and respect. That includes communications with them on social media, in emails, or in person. I truly believe that burning bridges is one of the worst things I can do as an advocate for agriculture. Badgering public officials on something I don’t agree with is not going to make them jump to my aid if I need them to side with me on another issue.
The same could be said for belittling those who may not agree with your farming style, or your food choices. If we want our consumers to know that we have the safest, most affordable food supply in the world, why are we constantly fighting between ourselves in public? We are our own worst enemies. We spend so much time accusing the “other side” of using junk science, or emotion to justify their opinions, that we have failed to show just how good our farms are. We have failed to show the reasons why we raise our animals the way we do. We have failed to show how many families are out working every day so we all have plenty to eat. Just think of how awesome it would be if we stood up for one another, or promoted agriculture as a whole. Chipotle and Panera’s ad campaigns wouldn’t have a (chicken) leg to stand on. Let’s not burn bridges between farmers. Farmers that need to come together to make changes in immigration reform, or mCOOL, or township ordinances…
The quote that I put on the photo below fit so well with how I was feeling this week watching my social media feeds. Instead of being frustrated or angry, I am going to focus on being kind. Maybe, just maybe, it will catch on! Want to join me?
We all read comments about how farming should be as it was in “grandpa’s” day. We need to look a certain way, or raise a variety of animals in order to be a “real family farm”. They want us all to look the same…like Pringles.
I don’t know about you, but I think that is boring! I also think it is rather foolish to insist that all farms look the same, and grow or raise the same things. My farm in Minnesota is not able to grow oranges or grapefruit. Nor are we able to raise onions or cabbage in January. On the other hand, farms in southern Texas are not able to grow field corn like we can. Climate, soil types, and rainfall are all things that affect how well certain plants are able to grow in an area.
I like to think that American agriculture is a lot like a bag of potato chips…
When you open a bag of potato chips, there are all different sizes and shapes. The same holds true for American farms and ranches. If you look closely at the bowl of chips, you will see some that are large, some small, and some that are unique. Even though they are very different, they all taste the same. They are, after all, basically the same thing. Original flavor potato chips.
If you look at these chips as farms, there are all different sizes and shapes of farms. Some are large, some are small, and some are unique. If you put all these farmers in a room (bowl) together, you have a bunch of farmers who are farming for basically the same reasons – they love the land, they love their animals, and they want to take care of both so that they are able to pass their farm or ranch on to the next generation.
When you cruise down the snack aisle of the grocery store, there are a lot of choices between flavors, cooking method, potato type, and brand. We can look at those as being different types of farms. There are dairy farms, vegetable farms, livestock farms, crop farms…you get the idea.
I asked each member of my family what their favorite flavor of potato chip was, and they were all different. I’m pretty sure that differences in opinion within a family on how to do things on a farm or ranch is not that uncommon, either.
This may seem overly simplistic to some, but I hope you get the idea. We need the diversity in agriculture in order for us to have the opportunity to eat a well balanced diet. A well balanced diet meaning a variety of foods eaten in moderation, not meaning a potato chip in each hand. 🙂 We need the diversity in size, in management style, in location, and we need both vegetation (crops), and animals to make our food system work as a whole. There is no one right way to farm or ranch. That should be an individual decision made by the farmers and ranchers who are on their land and tending to their animals every day.
Suddenly, I’m hungry. I think I’ll go eat a Pringle. I just won’t be one!
This past weekend I was in Bloomington, Minnesota at the Minnesota Farm Bureau Annual Meeting. I look forward to this meeting every year, and seeing friends from all over the state.
One of the coolest things about attending the Annual Meeting, is to see farmers of every type and every age sharing meals, sharing laughter, and sharing stories. Farm Bureau is one place where Democrats, Republicans, Independents, young farmers, “seasoned” farmers, dairy, beef, pig, turkey, conventional, organic, large, small, hobby, fruit, and vegetable farmers all meet together for one common goal. We all care about our farms and ranches, and we want to be able to pass them on to another generation. We want to learn how best to care for the land, tend to our animals, and meet consumer’s wishes while being able to make enough money to support our families and better our farms.
The delegate session is always interesting. My county in Southwestern Minnesota is very different from my friend’s farm in Northwestern Minnesota. The resolutions passed at their county meetings may not have any bearing on my county, yet we get the chance to debate and vote on the resolutions brought to the voting floor. It is one of the strongest grassroots organizations I know of. Every member has a voice, and has the chance to be heard. I wish our government was like that!
I am thankful for Farm Bureau, the leadership, and staff. They organized an awesome Annual Meeting this year. I came away from the weekend tired, yet excited for the future of Farm Bureau, and the future of Agriculture. I know I have some work to do to help our county continue to grow. It is so reassuring to know that we have a great staff that we can call on for answers to our questions, no matter how big or small.
After this weekend, I am really looking forward to the American Farm Bureau Annual Meeting and Convention in San Antonio in January. I am excited to meet some of my social media friends in person, and to engage with Farm Bureau members from all over the United States and Puerto Rico. Who will I see in San Antonio?
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We all like things neat and tidy. We want everything to fit into the box we see as ideal. Our perceptions as to what is right, true, and good are shaped by our experiences and the people around us. Funny thing is, even those who have grown up in the same family have very different opinions on how they do things.
There are 5 kids in my family. Three of us have three children. Even though we were raised the same way in the same house, we parent very differently. We all remember family things differently. What sticks out in my sister’s mind as a significant event, I may have totally forgotten about. We each see the same things in a different manner.
When Jonathan and I went on our first date, I can remember what I wore, but I can never remember where we went to eat. Jonathan has a great memory for the details & places of significance in our relationship, but I tend to remember the emotions. It’s part of what makes us work together well. We can help to fill in each other’s gaps.
What does this have to do with agriculture? Everything. We each bring our unique perspectives to our farms and ranches. We have certain ways we like to do things, for reasons we probably cannot explain. Does that make me wrong if I do something a different way than you do? Absolutely not. The diversity in agriculture helps to fill in the gaps. We can’t all grow cotton or rice or soybeans or tomatoes. Consumers are asking for choices, and we have the ability to provide that.
We farm our crops organically. We like the process. The management, the record keeping, the constant assessments in the field, the soil management, the relationships with our buyers – we like it all. It suits our land, and it suits our personalities. Neither one of us thinks that everyone would be good at organic farming. We’re okay with that. We just want the opportunity to be the best organic farmers we can be. If your passion is raising cow/calf pairs in South Dakota, that’s awesome. Be the best rancher you can be. If your passion is raising vegetables and running a CSA, more power to you. It’s not where my passion lies, but I’m glad it’s yours – especially when I want a BLT.
The point is, agriculture is not a one size fits all you have to do it this way everything is black and white industry. Find your passion, and run with it. Just remember, my passion is going to be different from yours, and that’s okay. Just concentrate on being the best you can be in whatever you choose to do. Everyone should be given that opportunity.
My Twitter feed is increasingly making me crabby. I follow a pretty diverse group, both conventional and organic farmers, a variety of agriculture businesses, and a wide range of bloggers. Why is it that every morning, my twitter feed is clogged with more conventional farmers putting down organic agriculture? The organic farmers I follow don’t share near the non-GM stuff as what the conventional farmers are sharing. Even some people that work for groups that are supposed to support all of agriculture are sharing more anti-organic graphics. I thought that when you claim to be an “agvocate”, you would be speaking for agriculture, not pitting one method against another.
I belong to a speakers group through the Minnesota Farm Bureau called Speak for Yourself. In our training sessions, we are taught to tell our farm story through the use of Power Point presentations. We are given the opportunity to create our presentations, then give them to our class for practice. We are to focus on our farm, and not worry about what our neighbors are doing. That way, when we go out and speak to groups like a Lions Club or Rotary Club, we are putting a face on farming. We are taught to present a positive picture of agriculture, and to be a resource to those who we have shared our story. As an organic farmer, I have been able to give my presentation to a group that had quite a few Monsanto employees in it. They enjoyed the presentation because I focused on my farm, without putting any commentary about other farms into my presentation. This is proof that speaking about only my farm can bring a clear message.
Do you hear a lot of people talking about the Paleo diet, vegetarianism, veganism, the Whole30 Challenge, and other restrictive diets? Why is it that those diets are acceptable, yet people who choose to eat organic foods are called anti-science? Last time I checked, it was not advised to go on a diet that eliminates whole food groups or are too restrictive. There are many scientific articles relating to the long term viability of vegan diets, for example. If I were to follow in other farmer’s footsteps, I could post a graphic that I found on the internet. After all, whatever is on the internet has to be true, right?
A few of my friends have told people that they can go ahead and waste their money by paying extra for the organic label. Really? How is that attitude fostering a positive image of agriculture? These same people are so excited when the farmers market opens and they can finally get fresh produce. I’m sure you could get tomatoes from the grocery store for less. So what if they are a little more pale and pulpy than the organic ones, or the ones fresh from the farmers market. Sounds a little bit hypocritical to me. No wonder consumers are confused.
Speaking of consumers, I see a lot of the anti-organic graphics and studies aimed at them. Talk about mommy guilt. Conventional farmers are just as bad as organic farmers if you really look at the graphics being shared. Why is it that only the end products are looked at when people are arguing over methods? Isn’t there a grower in there somewhere that is preparing the soil, buying seeds, planting, nurturing, and harvesting? In my mind, there is a whole lot more to these systems than just the end product.
This brings me back to the whole organic farmers are anti-science statements that make me cringe. We are anti-science because we choose not to use a certain seed technology? What the heck? That is such an insult. We use science to determine what our soil profiles are, how much manure needs to be applied, how much nitrogen the corn plants are taking up, when to flame weed the corn, and what tillage methods we need to tweak. We use more technology in our tractors than most of our neighbors. So, using the same logic, we can call all farmers who don’t use GPS guidance systems and field mapping anti-technology, backwards, and old, right? Why is it that conventional farmers feel the need to call others names because they farm different? It sounds a lot like school yard bullying, and makes us all look stupid.
Why is it so hard to resist hitting the share button when you know it’s going to hurt your farming friends and neighbors? You tell your story, I’ll tell mine, let other farmers tell theirs. When we start to tell each other’s stories, the whole agriculture message gets all mucked up, and consumers don’t know who to trust. We need to resist the temptation to post things that prove we are “right”. Who says that anyone is wrong? What is right for you will not be right for me. Even if we farmed using the same methods. Your soils, climate, personality…everything about you is different than me. That is what is awesome about being a farmer in the US. We have the freedom to farm how we like. We have the freedom to grow what we want. We have markets available to sell our products. There is so much good happening in agriculture, why is it that we feel like we need to put others down?
Let me leave you with one of my favorite quotes:
“To be one, to be united is a great thing. But to respect the right to be different is maybe even greater.” -Bono
