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Positive Attitude Archives - Carolyn CAREs

Guest Post: My 10th Celebration of Life

This post was written by my daughter, Anna (Olson) Meyer. Today, October 13, 2014, is the 10th anniversary of her Multiple Sclerosis diagnosis. Read on about life from her perspective, and learn why we call this anniversary a Celebration of Life. This post is also being published on her blog, Smiles Squared.

 

On this day ten years ago….my mother and I traveled an hour away from my hometown to visit my neurologist to receive my official diagnosis. The results from the spinal tap had come back, and finally, Dr. Nelson would tell us for sure if I had a pinched nerve, MS, or a brain tumor. He had given all three of these as possibilities as to why my entire left side had stopped working normally, but his theory was that I most likely had MS. That is what we knew before we got to Wilmar, MN. I was CONVINCED that it was nothing but a pinched nerve, and for some unknown reason my name had been on the prayer list at church for the last few weeks.
On that day, ten years ago, I was officially diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis. I was started on some medical steroids, and I was shown how to use the Autoject for my three-times-weekly medicine shots, just under the skin. (It would be another year before I gave myself those shots….and, of course, I was bribed—because what other way is there for a kid to be willing to do something unless they get something in return?)
Since my diagnosis, we have called the anniversary of that day my “celebration of life.” It is the day when I can look back on a year and see all the things I have been able to do, even though I have MS. On this ten-year anniversary of this life-altering diagnosis, I reflect on the things I have accomplished in my life!

1. I’ve been on all sorts of cool vacations and stuff.

Who cares if I had to rent a wheelchair to go Disneyworld? I went to Disneyworld! I’ve also rented wheelchairs at zoos, and even the Minnesota State Fair. Those places take a lot of walking, and I don’t quite have the energy to walk all that way. But I still got to experience it and enjoy my visits! Those places, by the way, have been the only ones I rented a wheelchair for. I can still walk! ….just not super far. I’ve been to the Wisconsin Dells and the Black Hills of South Dakota, just doing the tourist thing because I could. In high school, I went to a youth gathering with a church denomination, and had an AWESOME time with my cousin Jenni and my aunt Sheryl! In college, I went on TWO summer mission projects. Just because I have MS, doesn’t mean I can’t have fun! So I have to plan a little extra, and the south is typically a bad idea in the summer. I STILL LIVE LIFE.

2. In middle school, there were no cheerleaders, and I wanted to be one, so I petitioned and found a coach for middle school basketball cheerleaders!

Anna and the Lakeview Cheerleaders
Anna is in the front row, second from right

The January after my diagnosis. I am second from the right, front row. You know, the one with the big smile?
We were moderately good. Our most difficult move was when one cheerleader stood on the thighs of two other cheerleaders, but we stayed safe. I wasn’t really into watching sports, but I did notice that when our middle school teams had cheerleaders, the whole “crowd” was pretty riled up. You know, for a middle school game. Smiley face. Of course, this cheerleading team kind of left the middle school when I did. I always wanted to be a cheerleader. Our high school had football cheerleading, but by that time, I just wanted to play in the pep band. (We see why I became a music major?)
I was also on the golf team for a few years before the walking became too much for me and I acknowledged that I wasn’t that great. But it was fun!

3. I got my black belt!

Actually, I started Tae Kwon Do in 4th grade. In 7th grade, I got my junior black belt. I was diagnosed with MS in 8th grade. In 9th grade, I got my 2nd degree junior black belt. After I turned 16, sophomore year, I got my first degree adult black belt. And senior year, I got my second degree adult black belt! I was involved in Tae Kwon Do for 8 years; 5 of those years after having MS. I remember difficulty in my first tournament after being diagnosed, but then I just focused on what I COULD do instead of what I COULDN’T. I taught and I was a referee as my level advanced. I became inactive in TKD after I graduated high school, but I will always be a second degree black belt!

4. I finished high school AND college.

One of my college professors once told me that he had never seen such determination in a student. So I wasn’t the best. Who cares? I did as best I could. I was DETERMINED to finish well and I learned a ton while in those college years. I wrote a post about what MS has taught me over the last decade or so here.

5. I played a senior recital of percussion music.

At that time in my life, I had skill, because I was playing on these instruments all the time. I played a piece on the marimba, the timpani, some toms (drums), the vibraphone, and even flower pots! (Videos of all these can be seen on YouTube.) I loved that season in my life, when I could go from instrument to instrument in the percussion section in an empty band room and just PLAY.

6. I’ve had a “grown-up job” since I graduated.

Even before I graduated, I’ve been giving private lessons. According to some of my other music-major friends, I wasn’t charging enough, but still. As soon as I graduated, I got on the substitute teacher list for a few different school districts. And when I got to Kentucky, of course, I began working at a music store—giving lessons! And now I’ve started up this Mary Kay business! Before I was married, I paid my own rent, bought my own food, and loved when Mom and Dad came to Sioux Falls to take me grocery shopping. And now, I don’t get many visits from Mom and Dad (because I currently live, like, 20 hours away), but I still get care packages of coffee brands that aren’t sold in the south. (Thanks, mom!)

7. I’ve written, like, four novels.

Only one I’ve written is decent enough for me to want to publish it, but I do want to publish it! I also write shortstories and blog posts all the time. And other little things when I feel like it. I’ve kept a journal since I was diagnosed! And things have just kept moving from there. I don’t believe they will ever stop, either.

8. I wrote music for a class in college and directed an ensemble playing it in church one time.

So I maybe didn’t take into consideration that band instruments play better in flats than sharps. And that high school students can’t pick up music as fast as college students. But I was so proud of that piece! I even published my college friends and I playing the piece here on YouTube.

9. I GOT MARRIED!

Anna and Doug
Anna and Doug
Photo by tony miller photography

My handsome groom and I at our wedding this last July.
Just this last summer, if you are keeping up with me at all on this blog. (I’ve kinda talked about it a lot….) Never did I ever think I would meet a man who saw ME past the MS that has been so apparent in my life. I have a limp, which is the most obvious symptom to the world and the first turn-off to anybody who sees that instead of me first (which is pretty much everybody). But Dr. Wile E. Coyote, while he notices my limp, only notices if it’s a bad day or a good day and helps me stretch sometimes. Or if he’s walking with me, and I pull him around. (He’s not as sturdy as my sisters when they’ve walked with me, hehe.) I love Dr. Coyote, my best friend, and he is what I need. But God knew that. And I am privileged to be starting this med school journey with him and trusting the Lord until graduation, and beyond! (Like, forever. Every. Minute.)

10. I have become stronger than I thought possible.

Physically, mentally, and emotionally. I have had to push past the limits of where I would want to quit because something is hard. Being diagnosed so young (at 13), I had to face many decisions and situations that most teens shouldn’t have to face. I thank the good Lord for my always-supportive family who helped me so much!

On this day in ten years, who knows what things I’ll accomplish that I’ll be able to remember? The thing about having MS is that though we have to plan a little more, sometimes sleep a little more, and maybe be careful of what activities we chose to partake in, we still live normal lives. I haven’t felt normal for years, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. I would love to wake up one day and the Lord tell me, “You’re cured!” But I know that when people see me walking with a limp, unphased, it brings God more glory.
Anna E Meyer

 

Adding Color to My Sunset Sky

CarolynCares Clouds

I love this quote by Rabindranath Tagore…”Clouds come floating into my life, no longer to carry rain or usher storm, but to add color to my sunset sky.” How many times do we feel the storms of life, or feel like the clouds are hanging over our heads? Flooding, planting delays, stress, anxiety, depression, chronic illness, life changes…all can be the storm clouds that seem like they’ll never part.

Tonight, I am thankful for the parting of the storm clouds, and the brilliant sunset. I am thankful for the rough patches in life that help me to see the beauty in the good times. I am thankful for the promise of a new day. A new start. A new opportunity to be a blessing. Tonight, I am thankful for the clouds that add the color to my sunset sky.

Thankful Thursdays – A New Series of Gratitude

CarolynCares Thankful Thursday Lessons in Gratitude

I’ve always felt a little funny about the phrase, “Thank a Farmer”.  I guess I just have a difficult time asking people to thank me for a job that I love doing. I mean, why would I ask people to thank me, when my parts guy isn’t asking me to thank him for keeping the equipment running? Recently, Jenny, from Prairie Californian tweeted about thanking the people that make our lives easier. That conversation got me to thinking about starting a new Thankful Thursday series, where I can highlight some of the people that I come into contact with on a regular basis, and thank them for their work.

I’ve been working on gratitude and thankfulness in my own life lately. I’m a words of affirmation girl, and I understand how a kind word can make your whole day better. I also understand how an unkind word or unsavory expression can ruin what was a good day. I would love to see the world become a more positive place, where people are kind to one another, and where Please and Thank You are not just words to a Barney song.

My hope is that this journey will help us to have more of an attitude of gratitude when we are at the grocery store, the local coffee shop, the gas station, the parts store…wherever there are people helping us out. It is so easy to get crabby with the waitress when she’s a little slow, or get mad at the parts guys for not having the correct hydraulic tips. It would be cool if instead of getting upset, we could be thankful that these people are here to help us, and are willing to work at that establishment.

If you would like to join me in my Thankful Thursday series, put a link to your blog in the comments. I’ll add your link at the end of my posts.

You cannot be grateful and bitter.
You cannot be grateful and unhappy.
You cannot be grateful and without hope.
You cannot be grateful and unloving.
So just be grateful.

Author Unknown

 

How to Create a Positive Conversation in Agriculture

CarolynCares Love Hope Optimism

Have you noticed a change in people’s attitudes on Social Media this winter? At first, I blamed it on the Polar Vortex. However, it hasn’t improved at all with the snow melt! The negative blog posts, personal attacks, and unnecessary use of inflammatory adjectives have really gotten me down. I’ve had troubles writing lately, because I feel like whatever positive I had to say about my farm, or agriculture in general, would be drowned out by all the negative posts and editorials written about what I do.

While looking at photos and quotes for my Wordless Wednesday posts, I noticed I gravitated towards certain themes. Positive Attitude. Kindness. Respect. The more I focused on the quotes relating to those themes, the better I felt. So, how can we create a positive conversation in agriculture amidst all the negativity?

1. Have a Positive Attitude. Let’s be real. Sometimes you have to fake it ‘til you make it on those days when it seems like everyone is trying to get under your skin. It’s okay to walk away before responding. A positively worded response can preserve most relationships, or help others to understand where you are coming from. The conversations you have today will influence how others see you tomorrow. “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” Proverbs 15:1

2. Show a little Kindness. I think we sometimes get so wrapped up in “me” that we lose sight of what goes on outside of our little world. People love to make fun of labels on packages if they think those labels are unnecessary. Those labels were not meant for you…they were meant for those whose lives may be affected by the ingredients in that product. Gluten Free items are not only for those who suffer from Celiac Disease, but are also important for those with a wheat allergy. There are many people who are diagnosed with an illness, and are told by their doctor they need to avoid certain ingredients. They may not have a computer at home to check lists of approved foods, so the labels become very important to them. Just because it is not your label, does not mean it isn’t someone else’s. “In life you can never be too kind or too fair; everyone you meet is carrying a heavy load. When you go through your day expressing kindness and courtesy to all you meet, you leave behind a feeling of warmth and good cheer, and you help alleviate the burdens everyone is struggling with.” -Brian Tracy

3. Respect is more than the title to an Aretha Franklin song. Agriculture is so individual that there is a lot of room for disagreement. The most difficult thing to remember is that what works for me on my farm, and with my management style is not going to work for you. To respect the differences in styles, methods, crops, livestock raised, we must refrain from using the inflammatory adjectives that are only meant to hurt. Calling someone anti-science, a cult, or a mafia is no better than calling someone a shill, a factory farm, or toxic. Name calling is a sure way to destroy any credibility you may have had with consumers. We want to be the trusted source, yet we are constantly attacking each other because we are different. Instead, I think we need to embrace the diversity, and respect ourselves. “To be one, to be united is a great thing. But to respect the right to be different is maybe even greater.” –Bono

Some may say it is wishful thinking to try and have a positive conversation in agriculture. I am confident it can be done. The change in attitude needs to start now. Are you with me?

“You must be the change you wish to see in the world.” – Mahatma Gandhi